The Importance of Connections

Four hours so far this week. I'm considering by the domain name justafewmorehours.com. Would revamp the site, and all that good stuff, but I think it might be necessary. Running this thing off blogspot is nice and easy, but I can't do everything I want with the site. Just a thought.

I'm a believer that connections are everything. They're at least as important as talent. More important than hard work. In life, when you break everything down to the fundamentals, all you really have is connections. Friendships, lovers, family, colleagues. Everything builds from that. 

Don't believe me? Piss off a teacher in school and see how much extra help you get. Become a teacher's pet and see how much you improve in a year. You're route in life, from a very early age, is determined by the relationships you form.

This is a problem for me. Two things bug me above all else: rudeness and stupidity. I'm not always the most tactful person, but I honestly try to treat people with respect. When someone doesn't do that though, either to me or to someone else that I know, it's hard for me to hold my tongue. It's hard for me not to snap back. 

A mid level exec once told me that if you want to move forward in business (or life), someone has to be able to come into your office, take a shit on your desk, and you have to be able to smile and say thanks. I'm working on this, but it's tough. I won't go into my horrible psychology that makes me nearly unable to tolerate that behavior, but it's important that I get rid of it. It's important that even when disrespected, I respond with respect and not anger.

Because, what we're talking about here, are relationships. We're talking about future friends and acquaintances. We're talking about book sales. We're talking about furthering ourselves in life. I'm 26, and I don't know much about the world, but I believe that to be true. 

You can do nothing without other's investment, and to get that investment, you have to build relationships. You have to deal with rude people; you have to deal with stupidity. This might seem a bit Randian, or Darwinistic, that I'm saying we build relationships to further ourselves--but if you don't think that's true, then I'm not sure you're thinking about this the right way. Even with love, we are trying to find happiness, so we build a world with someone else who will help fulfill this happiness. It's self interest that does it. 

Build relationships, do it genuinely whenever possible, and fake it if you have to. But build them. Have someone that you can call for any situation and know that they'll answer. Be the person that someone can call in any situation, and make sure you answer. It's the only way to move ahead.

And remember to smile.

Pay It Forward, Brah

Put in two hours this morning.


Talked to two people about book covers, discussed marketing strategies with a world famous blogger, researched Amanda Hocking.


So, I'm at a highly ranked MBA school. My grades are high. I'm at a pretty prestigious internship in the field of education. I've written a novel this year. That's a lot of shit to be proud of right there.


However, the single most thing I'm proud of in the past year was when I helped a very dear friend of mine, who was EXTREMELY down on his luck find a job in the career he had chosen but been forced out of. All the rest is just nonsense. That right there made me tear up when I found out he had the job, and even writing this right now, means more to me than all the rest (except maybe the novel, but I'm also a selfish prick).


Today I had a good friend of mine--he runs 70's Big--take an hour out of his day to sit down and talk to me about how he's made that site into basically a fucking movement. He introduced me to two other people that he thinks could help my book (titled Dead Religion in case anyone cares), and also started mentioning ways we could monetize this erotica craze. He didn't have to do that. The dude gets paid to write, workout, and walk around with his shirt off--so what if I used to give him my apples at lunch in 9th grade: HE DOESN'T OWE IT TO ME.


I got off the phone with him and talked to an upcoming 1st year MBA student. I don't know him from Adam. I was honest with him and did my best to explain the pitfalls I went through and the things to expect in school. Nothing life changing, but I tried to help.

Obama was right about that in his little speech that he's taking so much heat for. We all need help. We all need to give help. This writing thing is going to eventually work out. Maybe not this book and maybe not the next one, but at some point there will be a critical mass of fans. Throughout the entire process I'll help as many writers as I can, as well as any other profession that contacts me--and when I have a yacht, I'll do my best to find service in international waters so that I can calls for people there too. 


Helping people is the second most important thing I do in my life, besides write stories. I hope it's somewhere in your top three--because without it, no one gets anywhere. What's worse, I think a lot of what's good in life disappears. Maybe all of it.