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Monday, July 23, 2012


Put in six hours since our last talk.

Settled on my cover designer. He's really into minimalist designs, as am I--so I think creatively we should see eye to eye.

I think that I have a high propensity of fear. Blame it on a troubled child hood or a rough neighborhood, it doesn't really matter why. It's there though. The fear normally takes the form of failure--that something isn't going to work, or that I'm not going to live up to my own expectations. 

Some say fear is healthy, and by some, probably everyone. I'm not sure I believe that, at least not the fear that I feel. Fear makes you want to stop. Writing, working, exercising, dieting, growing--in general, it makes you want to stop trying

Sure, fear of death is good. It makes you stop trying stupid shit like fucking texting while driving--no one does that anymore, right? But fear of life, not death, is detrimental. I cannot fathom a way that fear of life would not be harmful. 

Everyone has fears: my significant other will leave me, they'll find out I don't know what I'm talking about, my work experience isn't enough for this job, I need an education to get a fucking job but don't have the money for school, my dick is too small. I mean this list could go on and on forever. Everyone of those fears those is something that your mind throws in the way to stop you from trying. I heard a quote a long time ago, one of those cliche things people throw around and never really live by, that said: What would you do if you knew you couldn't be stopped? 

If you think about that statement, just really let it sink into your bones--the power of it wipes out all doubts and fears and lets you see what is really important to you. I'm not sure how much luck plays into this life we live, but I'm really beginning to believe the main thing stopping any of us from doing what we want is that twinkle of fear that pops up whenever we care about something. That fear that makes us think, not me--I'm not made for this, something is going to fuck this all up. 

If you get rid of that, all that's left is the entire world. If we can start thinking success is guaranteed; that there is no such thing as failure--how would we change? Every action we make in every day would be different because everything we did would be building onto our legacy, onto our fucking empire, because there'd be nothing to stop us. We should start living by that little mantra, and realize success is our birthright.

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